Post by Admin on Mar 30, 2014 15:24:54 GMT
Valkyrie Cain heard her bedroom window smash as much as she felt it against her face and hands, knowing the chances of her day improving were unlikely.
The vampire had been trailing her since at least the Luas, obviously liking what he saw. Probably from a tasty-treat perspective. He might of had other ideas, but Valkyrie had gone done the dating a vampire route and didn't like what she had seen. It had worked out for some, but Valkyrie... well, she doesn't like to talk about it.
In a movie, Valkyrie would have back flipped into her room and scissor kicked the vamp almost immediately. But this wasn't a movie. Instead, with her back curved, her feet came over her head and she banged her forehead off the radiator as she flopped ungracefully onto the floor next to her bed. Right onto a comic book and a long-expired McDonald's drive through box.
Oy vey.
"Ok," Valkyrie said, scrambling to her feet. "I can tell you're not a people person. But if you cut it out now, they'll be no hard feelings. I have some chips in that box there. Want some? Or we can have fresh ones, my treat! And if you're still hungry, I have this really annoying neighbour..."
The vampire roared.
"Rude."
Valkyrie pushed the air, propelling herself towards its torso. It batted her away, sending her stumbling into her bedroom mirror, shards of glass tangling in her hair.
"Well," said Skulduggery. "This is potentially problematic."
The vamp turned to Skulduggery, sitting on Valkyrie's windowsill. It let out an almighty roar, blowing his hat off him. Valkyrie expected a pun and revolver right about now.
Instead she got no pun, and a water pistol.
It was a tiny yellow thing. One squirt, and the vampire started choking. It clutched its throat, gagging, and fell to her bedroom floor.
"Did you just kill a vampire," Valkyrie began. "with a water pistol?"
"Yes. Although it's not technically dead yet."
"But a water pistol?"
"Yes. Water. Pistol. Water pistol"
"Isn't that a bit... not you?"
"It saved the day. That's very me."
Valkyrie turned to her shattered mirror. "Well, your children's toy didn't save my mirror. Will the reflection still come out?"
"I don't know. Try it."
"You can come in the room, you know."
"I'd rather not. If the reflection comes out wrong and decides to kill us, then I'll be able to save myself."
"You're so good to me."
Valkyrie hesitated, then touched the remains of the mirror. When her reflection stepped out, she was very tempted to dive for the window.
It was most certainly her reflection, but some parts just... weren't there. Half her cheek was gone. Valkyrie could see the wall behind it. She had a quarter of one eyeball. One and a half nostrils. Half a forehead. A huge chunk of her torso was not in existence.
"Is something wrong?" the reflection asked.
"You mean... you don't feel different?"
"Should I?"
Prying her eyes away, Valkyrie looked hopefully at Skulduggery. "You can fix this, right?"
"Of course. It's really very simple."
"How?"
"Get a new mirror."
"Can't one of your Sanctuary friends fix it?"
"Valkyrie, the Sanctuary is a busy place. They don't have time to fix broken mirrors."
"And what the hell do I tell my parents happened to my mirror?"
"Perhaps you had a teenage fit?"
"I do not have teenage fits!"
"Tell them you bumped into it."
"No one is clumsy enough to do that."
"I'm sure you could pull it off."
"I'm not clumsy! My parents know that."
"Well, start planting the seeds. Go fall down the stairs or something."
"I'm not going to fall down the stairs. And what about school? How will I go to school?"
"Well..."
Valkyrie's eyes widened. "Oh no. No no no! I am NOT going to school!"
"It would appear you don't have any other choice."
"There are many choices! Numerous! There is a plethora of other options!"
"But none so amusing."
"I hate you."
"You'll regret saying that once your teenage fit is over."
Valkyrie sighed. "What about the dead vampire?"
"Right. I'll take care of it. Some of us have work to do."
"I can't believe you ruined the first time I said 'plethora'..."
Skulduggery cocked his head. "I feel your pain."
*
School sucked.
Valkyrie had to get up at, like, seven. A.M! Making people get up at that time is just child cruelty, Valkyrie believed. She missed the bus and had to run to the next stop. When in the bus, secondary school boys were very loud and kept making rude, annoying noises. The elderly lady next to her had a bagful of what could only be described as "old people sweets".
Her friend Hannah, with her bubbly personality, perfect blonde hair and that upbeat attitude that sickened her in the morning, was waiting for her in their shoddy little classroom, overcrowded with loud teenagers.
"Steph, you're late!" she said in that fake judgemental voice.
"Not the time, Hannah--"
"Steph, your ring!" Hannah yelped, catching the eye of a few concerned students as she grabbed Valkyrie's hand. "It's faboo!"
"Did you just say 'faboo'--?"
"Have you gone emo?"
"What? No, I haven't--"
"This is way too emo for you. I'll take it off your hands for you."
"Hannah, I may not be emo, but I'm a great deal emo-er than you."
Valkyrie slipped her Necromancer ring, as well as the rest of her hand, from her friend's grasp. Hannah fake pouted.
Eventually, the boredom machine that is Mr. Tishell moseyed on in and began drilling stuff about Triga-something-or-other into Valkyrie's head. It was strange: Valkyrie always had memories of her day at school, but experiencing it was something entirely different. When they were memories, she just pushed the boring parts out, but when it was life, she had to live it.
"My God," she said to Hannah as the bell rang. "It really does sit on a Hellmouth..."
"What is with you today?" Hannah asked. "You're all 'what's up with life?' and stuff."
"Oh, you know, just one of those... things... anyway, off to lunch, my stomach acid needs to burn something tasty."
"Actually, I can't come, I have a test in maths next. Study study study! Can you hang with someone else?"
"Uh, sure, I guess so."
Hannah beamed. Again. "You are the bestest!"
*
It occurred to Valkyrie after about five minutes that she didn't have many friends.
Apart from Hannah, Valkyrie was pretty much a lone wolf. She had a few acquaintances, but they all had their little cliques: Kelly Wong had joined the Photography Pack; Ashley O'Mara had defected from Team Valkyrie to Team Chess Club; and Chloe Kenner was with the film club, analysing how Muppets From Space was predicting the Apocalypse. As she sat alone nibbling on a carrot stick, Valkyrie realised that, no matter her age, she didn't belong here: not amongst the academia and the gossip and the study and the hormones.
Sighing, she ended the carrot stick's short life and went walking. Valkyrie remembered, out by the Astro Pitches, was a trees her Reflection liked to sit in the shade of. Thankfully, there were no matches on to disturb her. She just sat, and listened to the birds, and looked at the murky, cloudy sky, and--
"I have to go."
"No, c'mon, stay..."
Valkyrie opened her eyes. She craned her head around the bark to a chain link fence a few metres down. Someone had their back to Valkyrie, a girl in a school uniform and blonde hair...
"Hannah?"
Hannah whirled around, eyes wide. "Steph? W-what are you doing here, go away!"
Valkyrie ignored Hannah and looked past her, through the fence. A boy, about their age, was covered in shadows. He had a gaunt face, piercing eyes.
"Who's your friend, Hannah?" he said, pale fingers gripping the fence.
"Steph," Hannah said. "We're kind of having a private moment here--"
"Who's this?" Valkyrie asked, eyeing the boy suspiciously.
"It's just Dylan, he's my--"
"Boyfriend." Dylan finished, stepping further forward. His skin was pale, almost ghostly against the dark metal. "Now get lost. We were just about to eat..." Dylan bit his lip, fingers tightening on the metal fence. The way he was staring at Hannah, so very pale...
"Hannah," Valkyrie said calmly. "We need to go NOW."
"Steph, get out of here!"
"Hannah, you don't understand--"
"Hey, did I ask for your opinion? Um, nope, I didn't, so get your scrawny--"
"He's a vampire!"
Hannah shrugged. "So?"
"Look, I know it sounds-- wait, what did you say?"
"Who cares? He's a vampire, I'm a human, but our love is eternal."
Dylan nodded from behind the fence. Valkyrie's head was seriously hurting. "Wait, so: you know?"
"Yes, I know, you don't have to be Veronica Mars to figure it out. Plus, HE TOLD ME, that was kind of a big hint..."
"And you believe him? I can't believe he went all Angel on you..."
"Oh, shut up, Steph!" Hannah exclaimed. "You're just jealous!"
"Believe me, I've been down this route, it isn't pretty..."
"What do you know about his kind, anyway?"
"I know they'll do anything for a tasty treat."
"That's not true, I love him, and he loves me. We're gonna run away together and have halfsie babies!"
"Ok, Anne Rice, how come he hasn't rushed to your defence?"
"He's a vampire, he's probably smouldering."
"Or he's spent this whole argument prying that fence apart."
Hannah whirled around. Dylan, with a ferociously hungry face, had practically tore the fence in two. Hannah screamed and did absolutely nothing else to save herself. Valkyrie rushed forward, shoving Hannah out of the way, and sent a roundhouse kick into Dylan's gut, sending him stumbling, but Dylan got a fistful of her blasted school tights and forced her leg down. Valkyrie's balance jerked forward, and Dylan backhanded her across the face. Valkyrie, jaw burning, took advantage of the push, turning on her heel and forcing an elbow into his sternum. Dylan's head lolled forward and Valkyrie sent her elbow back into his face. His head snapped back and Vallyrie hooked her arm around, forcing him into a headlock. As she tried to get a tighter grip, Dylan sent a fist into Valkyrie's gut, severely winding her. As she gasped for breath, Valkyrie felt fingers on her shoulder and Dylan yanked her head back, sending a half-fist in between her chin and collarbone. Valkyrie's throat made a squishing noise and she felt the need to both cough and breathe, unable to do both, only croak. Through wet eyes, she saw Dylan's blurry shape make a run for it and Valkyrie shot her hand out, raking shadows into his shoulder. Dylan bellowed and fell on his back, out for the count.
Valkyrie felt air begin to crawl into her lungs as she reached for Hannah, in a ball at the school wall. Her forehead was cut: she had whacked it off the brick when Valkyrie shoved her. She stared wild-eyed at Dylan's form as Valkyrie encased her in a hug.
"H-h-h-he's evil!"
"Yes, but he's gone now--"
"H-he was g-gonna--"
"Yes, yes he was--"
"I'm so s-stupid!"
"Yes, yes you are--"
"I'm insane! Mad!"
"No you're not--"
"There's a vampire--"
"Yes."
"Evil!"
"Yes."
"Right there!"
"Yep."
"He was gonna kill us!"
"Sure was."
"But you saved me!"
"Little bit."
"And now a skeleton's shooting water into his mouth!"
Valkyrie glanced over to see Skulduggery, holding his water pistol proudly over the convulsing vampire. "Gets them every time."
"I hate you." Valkyrie said through gritted teeth.
Skulduggery shrugged. "You wouldn't be the first."
"Can we erase Hannah's memory now?"
"I certainly don't see why not."
Valkyrie helped a shaking Hannah to her feet and followed Skulduggery to the Bentley, parked down the road.
"So how was school?" Skulduggery asked, clicking his façade into place. "Anything of interest?"
Valkyrie shrugged. "Nothing much."
The vampire had been trailing her since at least the Luas, obviously liking what he saw. Probably from a tasty-treat perspective. He might of had other ideas, but Valkyrie had gone done the dating a vampire route and didn't like what she had seen. It had worked out for some, but Valkyrie... well, she doesn't like to talk about it.
In a movie, Valkyrie would have back flipped into her room and scissor kicked the vamp almost immediately. But this wasn't a movie. Instead, with her back curved, her feet came over her head and she banged her forehead off the radiator as she flopped ungracefully onto the floor next to her bed. Right onto a comic book and a long-expired McDonald's drive through box.
Oy vey.
"Ok," Valkyrie said, scrambling to her feet. "I can tell you're not a people person. But if you cut it out now, they'll be no hard feelings. I have some chips in that box there. Want some? Or we can have fresh ones, my treat! And if you're still hungry, I have this really annoying neighbour..."
The vampire roared.
"Rude."
Valkyrie pushed the air, propelling herself towards its torso. It batted her away, sending her stumbling into her bedroom mirror, shards of glass tangling in her hair.
"Well," said Skulduggery. "This is potentially problematic."
The vamp turned to Skulduggery, sitting on Valkyrie's windowsill. It let out an almighty roar, blowing his hat off him. Valkyrie expected a pun and revolver right about now.
Instead she got no pun, and a water pistol.
It was a tiny yellow thing. One squirt, and the vampire started choking. It clutched its throat, gagging, and fell to her bedroom floor.
"Did you just kill a vampire," Valkyrie began. "with a water pistol?"
"Yes. Although it's not technically dead yet."
"But a water pistol?"
"Yes. Water. Pistol. Water pistol"
"Isn't that a bit... not you?"
"It saved the day. That's very me."
Valkyrie turned to her shattered mirror. "Well, your children's toy didn't save my mirror. Will the reflection still come out?"
"I don't know. Try it."
"You can come in the room, you know."
"I'd rather not. If the reflection comes out wrong and decides to kill us, then I'll be able to save myself."
"You're so good to me."
Valkyrie hesitated, then touched the remains of the mirror. When her reflection stepped out, she was very tempted to dive for the window.
It was most certainly her reflection, but some parts just... weren't there. Half her cheek was gone. Valkyrie could see the wall behind it. She had a quarter of one eyeball. One and a half nostrils. Half a forehead. A huge chunk of her torso was not in existence.
"Is something wrong?" the reflection asked.
"You mean... you don't feel different?"
"Should I?"
Prying her eyes away, Valkyrie looked hopefully at Skulduggery. "You can fix this, right?"
"Of course. It's really very simple."
"How?"
"Get a new mirror."
"Can't one of your Sanctuary friends fix it?"
"Valkyrie, the Sanctuary is a busy place. They don't have time to fix broken mirrors."
"And what the hell do I tell my parents happened to my mirror?"
"Perhaps you had a teenage fit?"
"I do not have teenage fits!"
"Tell them you bumped into it."
"No one is clumsy enough to do that."
"I'm sure you could pull it off."
"I'm not clumsy! My parents know that."
"Well, start planting the seeds. Go fall down the stairs or something."
"I'm not going to fall down the stairs. And what about school? How will I go to school?"
"Well..."
Valkyrie's eyes widened. "Oh no. No no no! I am NOT going to school!"
"It would appear you don't have any other choice."
"There are many choices! Numerous! There is a plethora of other options!"
"But none so amusing."
"I hate you."
"You'll regret saying that once your teenage fit is over."
Valkyrie sighed. "What about the dead vampire?"
"Right. I'll take care of it. Some of us have work to do."
"I can't believe you ruined the first time I said 'plethora'..."
Skulduggery cocked his head. "I feel your pain."
*
School sucked.
Valkyrie had to get up at, like, seven. A.M! Making people get up at that time is just child cruelty, Valkyrie believed. She missed the bus and had to run to the next stop. When in the bus, secondary school boys were very loud and kept making rude, annoying noises. The elderly lady next to her had a bagful of what could only be described as "old people sweets".
Her friend Hannah, with her bubbly personality, perfect blonde hair and that upbeat attitude that sickened her in the morning, was waiting for her in their shoddy little classroom, overcrowded with loud teenagers.
"Steph, you're late!" she said in that fake judgemental voice.
"Not the time, Hannah--"
"Steph, your ring!" Hannah yelped, catching the eye of a few concerned students as she grabbed Valkyrie's hand. "It's faboo!"
"Did you just say 'faboo'--?"
"Have you gone emo?"
"What? No, I haven't--"
"This is way too emo for you. I'll take it off your hands for you."
"Hannah, I may not be emo, but I'm a great deal emo-er than you."
Valkyrie slipped her Necromancer ring, as well as the rest of her hand, from her friend's grasp. Hannah fake pouted.
Eventually, the boredom machine that is Mr. Tishell moseyed on in and began drilling stuff about Triga-something-or-other into Valkyrie's head. It was strange: Valkyrie always had memories of her day at school, but experiencing it was something entirely different. When they were memories, she just pushed the boring parts out, but when it was life, she had to live it.
"My God," she said to Hannah as the bell rang. "It really does sit on a Hellmouth..."
"What is with you today?" Hannah asked. "You're all 'what's up with life?' and stuff."
"Oh, you know, just one of those... things... anyway, off to lunch, my stomach acid needs to burn something tasty."
"Actually, I can't come, I have a test in maths next. Study study study! Can you hang with someone else?"
"Uh, sure, I guess so."
Hannah beamed. Again. "You are the bestest!"
*
It occurred to Valkyrie after about five minutes that she didn't have many friends.
Apart from Hannah, Valkyrie was pretty much a lone wolf. She had a few acquaintances, but they all had their little cliques: Kelly Wong had joined the Photography Pack; Ashley O'Mara had defected from Team Valkyrie to Team Chess Club; and Chloe Kenner was with the film club, analysing how Muppets From Space was predicting the Apocalypse. As she sat alone nibbling on a carrot stick, Valkyrie realised that, no matter her age, she didn't belong here: not amongst the academia and the gossip and the study and the hormones.
Sighing, she ended the carrot stick's short life and went walking. Valkyrie remembered, out by the Astro Pitches, was a trees her Reflection liked to sit in the shade of. Thankfully, there were no matches on to disturb her. She just sat, and listened to the birds, and looked at the murky, cloudy sky, and--
"I have to go."
"No, c'mon, stay..."
Valkyrie opened her eyes. She craned her head around the bark to a chain link fence a few metres down. Someone had their back to Valkyrie, a girl in a school uniform and blonde hair...
"Hannah?"
Hannah whirled around, eyes wide. "Steph? W-what are you doing here, go away!"
Valkyrie ignored Hannah and looked past her, through the fence. A boy, about their age, was covered in shadows. He had a gaunt face, piercing eyes.
"Who's your friend, Hannah?" he said, pale fingers gripping the fence.
"Steph," Hannah said. "We're kind of having a private moment here--"
"Who's this?" Valkyrie asked, eyeing the boy suspiciously.
"It's just Dylan, he's my--"
"Boyfriend." Dylan finished, stepping further forward. His skin was pale, almost ghostly against the dark metal. "Now get lost. We were just about to eat..." Dylan bit his lip, fingers tightening on the metal fence. The way he was staring at Hannah, so very pale...
"Hannah," Valkyrie said calmly. "We need to go NOW."
"Steph, get out of here!"
"Hannah, you don't understand--"
"Hey, did I ask for your opinion? Um, nope, I didn't, so get your scrawny--"
"He's a vampire!"
Hannah shrugged. "So?"
"Look, I know it sounds-- wait, what did you say?"
"Who cares? He's a vampire, I'm a human, but our love is eternal."
Dylan nodded from behind the fence. Valkyrie's head was seriously hurting. "Wait, so: you know?"
"Yes, I know, you don't have to be Veronica Mars to figure it out. Plus, HE TOLD ME, that was kind of a big hint..."
"And you believe him? I can't believe he went all Angel on you..."
"Oh, shut up, Steph!" Hannah exclaimed. "You're just jealous!"
"Believe me, I've been down this route, it isn't pretty..."
"What do you know about his kind, anyway?"
"I know they'll do anything for a tasty treat."
"That's not true, I love him, and he loves me. We're gonna run away together and have halfsie babies!"
"Ok, Anne Rice, how come he hasn't rushed to your defence?"
"He's a vampire, he's probably smouldering."
"Or he's spent this whole argument prying that fence apart."
Hannah whirled around. Dylan, with a ferociously hungry face, had practically tore the fence in two. Hannah screamed and did absolutely nothing else to save herself. Valkyrie rushed forward, shoving Hannah out of the way, and sent a roundhouse kick into Dylan's gut, sending him stumbling, but Dylan got a fistful of her blasted school tights and forced her leg down. Valkyrie's balance jerked forward, and Dylan backhanded her across the face. Valkyrie, jaw burning, took advantage of the push, turning on her heel and forcing an elbow into his sternum. Dylan's head lolled forward and Valkyrie sent her elbow back into his face. His head snapped back and Vallyrie hooked her arm around, forcing him into a headlock. As she tried to get a tighter grip, Dylan sent a fist into Valkyrie's gut, severely winding her. As she gasped for breath, Valkyrie felt fingers on her shoulder and Dylan yanked her head back, sending a half-fist in between her chin and collarbone. Valkyrie's throat made a squishing noise and she felt the need to both cough and breathe, unable to do both, only croak. Through wet eyes, she saw Dylan's blurry shape make a run for it and Valkyrie shot her hand out, raking shadows into his shoulder. Dylan bellowed and fell on his back, out for the count.
Valkyrie felt air begin to crawl into her lungs as she reached for Hannah, in a ball at the school wall. Her forehead was cut: she had whacked it off the brick when Valkyrie shoved her. She stared wild-eyed at Dylan's form as Valkyrie encased her in a hug.
"H-h-h-he's evil!"
"Yes, but he's gone now--"
"H-he was g-gonna--"
"Yes, yes he was--"
"I'm so s-stupid!"
"Yes, yes you are--"
"I'm insane! Mad!"
"No you're not--"
"There's a vampire--"
"Yes."
"Evil!"
"Yes."
"Right there!"
"Yep."
"He was gonna kill us!"
"Sure was."
"But you saved me!"
"Little bit."
"And now a skeleton's shooting water into his mouth!"
Valkyrie glanced over to see Skulduggery, holding his water pistol proudly over the convulsing vampire. "Gets them every time."
"I hate you." Valkyrie said through gritted teeth.
Skulduggery shrugged. "You wouldn't be the first."
"Can we erase Hannah's memory now?"
"I certainly don't see why not."
Valkyrie helped a shaking Hannah to her feet and followed Skulduggery to the Bentley, parked down the road.
"So how was school?" Skulduggery asked, clicking his façade into place. "Anything of interest?"
Valkyrie shrugged. "Nothing much."